How to stay happy in your marriage, for some it's as easy as pie, for others it's extremely challenging. Here are five steps to follow to stay happy. 

STEP ONE: EMBRACE UNHAPPINESS
What? That totally sounds ludicrous. Well, what did you think I would say? It's impossible to ALWAYS be happy. The happiest people I know embrace moments of unhappiness. That's the key to a joyful life. 

God didn't put us here on this earth to live a utopia life of happiness. He put us here for a purpose. 

Embracing stretches of unhappiness is what helps us be whole and holy before God. 

Unhappiness is often the propulsion that pushes us towards God. 

Embracing unhappiness is what makes us more mature and well rounded people. 

Embracing unhappiness builds character and keeps us from being narcissists.  

STEP TWO: UNDERSTAND JOY vs HAPPY
Joy comes from the deepest part of your soul where God wants to reside. Joy allows you to endure hardships and overcome challenges. Happiness is a fleeting emotion that will trick you into thinking and doing things that are bad for you. 

Chasing happiness will lead you to a shallow existence and a lonely life. 

Joy comes from the Lord. 

Give God a chance to be in the deepest part of your soul. He can give you what nobody can. He can give you what no amount of money or fame can. Walking with God, doing the right things and obeying him is the key to a joy filled life. 

STEP THREE: GIVE more than you TAKE

I often find GIVERS are more happy people. Have you ever monitored your giving vs taking? 

Quiz:

1. How often to you ask others about their day, their life or their needs vs yours? 
2. How often do you give of your time for others?
3. How often do you give of your $ vs keep all yours for yourself?
4. How often do you compliment your spouse vs complain about what you aren't getting from them? 

RARELY will you ever see a happy TAKER but you will ALWAYS see a happy GIVER. 

I know a woman who has very little. Her life had a stream of difficulties in marriages and broken hearted moments. Her children offered her deep challenges of rebellion and hurtful actions yet, this woman gave. She gave of her money, her time and her actions. She prayed for them. She helped them out of trouble. She gave to her friends and her siblings the little extra she could find. Her whole life is one big "gift" to everyone else but herself. 

Has she battled stretches of unhappiness? Yes. Is she full of joy? Yes. 

STEP FOUR: STUDY GOD'S WORD

It's amazing how often your spirit will be lifted by simply reading God's word. He will speak to you when you are reading His word. 

If you can't find a starting point, go to Proverbs or Psalms. Let scripture permeate your heart. God want's you to cast your burden upon him so he can minister to you during times of unhappiness. 

His word will educate you, lift you, teach you, correct you and empower you. 

STEP FIVE: CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY

Your mind is a powerful muscle just like the rest of your body. Use it. Exercise it. When unhappy thoughts plague you, reject them. Send them packing. 

Don't 'choose' to wallow in unhappiness. You can jump out of the boat at anytime. 

I am not suggesting that you suppress your feelings, but I am asking you to manage them well. 

God tells us to 'trust in him' not our own understanding and HE will direct our paths. 

If you follow your feelings, they will lead you off a cliff. Manage them well. Choose to find the good things in your life and in your mate. 

When you are down and feeling blue, it's ok, just try not to stay there. 

You are never alone, God will not forsake you nor leave you. He can take you to the mountain top again but it's probable you won't stay there, who can? 

There are lots of hills and valleys in life, try to choose a good perspective when you are in the valley.