THE TRUTH AND LIES ABOUT LOVE
Sheri walked into her teenage daughter’s room to say goodnight before she fell asleep. Her daughter said, “Mom, I’m struggling. I grew up in church listening to our pastor teach many things. There are many parts of the Bible that are very hard for me to believe in or accept, especially the hard parts that talk about sin. All my friends at school tell me that we should just love everyone and that’s what all Christians should be doing but aren’t. Are we looking at it all wrong, Mom? Shouldn’t we just love everybody and stop judging others?”
Sheri made a huge mistake that night by avoiding the question. She replied, “Oh honey, don’t worry about such big things we don’t have any control over. Just go to sleep and know that I love you.”
She missed out on a moment that could have changed the course of her daughter’s entire life. Parents, teach your children to fully understand the Bible, and it will guide them through this dark and confusing world.
If we don’t get to the real meaning of love, the whole course of our lives can be set for trouble. Countless songs, books, movies, and cards revolve around the topic of love. Some say it’s the number one theme our society is drawn to.
But humans have bought into lies about love and turned it into its own religion. This modern religion of love doesn’t line up with God’s Word. It’s very hard to combat. When Christians question this false love, they are treated as though they are torturing puppies. This kind of love plays on human emotions and is extremely effective and dangerous. After all, who doesn’t want to be loved?
If Satan can mask hate with a false sense of love, he can drag the masses down to hell before they even know what’s happening.
Before falling into the web of "just love everybody," learn about the top three lies and the top three truths about love.
The Top Three Lies About Love
- Love always affirms others
- Love is always accepting of others
- Love is never hurtful
Real love can feel hurtful in the moment. Picture a four-year-old reaching for a hot stove and a parent screaming “STOP!” The child cries, not realizing they’ve just been spared pain. In the same way, a man warning his alcoholic friend may cause temporary pain but ultimately act out of deep love.
Real love often causes pain. The ultimate example? John 3:16: “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.” Imagine sending your son to another country to be beaten and crucified. That’s love that truly hurts.
Revelation 3:19 God says, “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.”
Proverbs 27:6 reminds us, “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy.”
God rebukes and disciplines those He loves. Real love doesn’t affirm or accept destructive behavior or any behavior that may cause harm to oneself or others. Real love doesn’t accept or confirm any behavior that opposes God’s ways. Real love gently confronts and redirects those who are blinded by their ways and need direction.
The Top Three Truths About Love
- Love is obeying God
- Love is a method of treatment
- Love is valuing others enough to tell the truth
John 14:15 Jesus says, “If you love me, you will obey me.”
When we repent, believe, and follow Jesus, our eyes are opened to real love. Love and truth are woven together in Scripture. Satan hates this.
Yes, we must be kind to all people, but kindness is not the same as affirmation or agreement.
1 Corinthians 13 Paul says, “Love rejoices with the truth.”
Love without truth is dangerous. You can disagree and still be kind. You can confront others and still be kind. The key is to be kind while standing firm in truth.
Our culture's definition of love is not only wrong—it’s harmful. Removing truth and only telling people to love can paralyze parents, teachers, and leaders from fulfilling their responsibilities. When we stop disciplining children and stop teaching what is right, what is wrong, what is healthy and unhealthy living and start affirming everything, we set children up for failure.
These children grow up and bring those false expectations into their marriages, often ending in pain and divorce.
I remember my father once sitting me on his lap, gently but firmly explaining why I needed a spanking. As a tear ran down his cheek, he followed through with the discipline. I don’t remember the spanking. I remember the tear. That was love.
The Bottom Line
Repent, believe, and follow Jesus to discover what real love is. Don’t believe the lies of culture. Speak truth in kindness. Share God's ways boldly and gently.
Be firm but be kind.
That’s real love.
Interested in our Marriage Intensive Program? Pam and I would be honored to take you on this journey to experience real love in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!